A bit about me: I was raised by a good man with mental pain that led to narcissism and a bit of ADHD. My mother and father are still alive and at age 83. My mom is very fit and exercises every day at the gym whilst my father never has moved his body. My fathers hard work led us to a very comfortable life where I lacked nothing but was not spoiled nor bratty. Dad was an and mom always did the papers and accounting for dad the entrepreneur however he eventually fought with everyone so his employees would quit and friends would leave the friendship and most neighbors wind up not liking him. Watching my obese father 310 pounds never move a muscle inspired me to exercise to the point I could see my ab muscles and I learned from my mom to be giving and kind.
More details: I was raised by two parents who are still alive today, both 83 years old, and who shaped me in very different but equally powerful ways. My father was, at his core, a good man—driven, intelligent, and capable of tremendous hard work—but he also carried deep, unresolved mental and emotional pain. That pain slowly hardened into patterns of behavior that resembled narcissism, not born out of cruelty, but out of defense. My mother, in contrast, embodied steadiness, generosity, and physical vitality. Growing up between these two forces gave me a front-row seat to both the cost of inner suffering and the power of discipline, kindness, and self-care.
My father was an entrepreneur through and through. He built businesses from nothing, relying on grit, long hours, and an unshakable belief in his own vision. I watched him work relentlessly, often sacrificing rest, health, and relationships in the pursuit of success. He was sharp and demanding, especially of himself, but over time that intensity spilled outward. The same drive that helped him build very small companies also made it difficult for him to collaborate, compromise, or admit fault. Arguments became common, not just at work but in life. Eventually, patterns emerged: employees would quit after conflicts, friendships would fracture beyond repair, and neighbors who once seemed friendly would keep their distance. It was painful to witness, especially knowing how much good existed beneath his hardened exterior.
As the years went on, my father’s emotional struggles were compounded by his physical neglect. He never exercised—not once that I can remember. His body grew heavier and more immobile over time until he reached around 310 pounds. Watching him sit for hours, days, and years without movement left a lasting impression on me. It wasn’t just the weight; it was the stagnation, the sense of being trapped inside a body that no longer served him. I could see how his lack of physical movement mirrored his emotional rigidity. He was stuck, and everything around him seemed to suffer because of it, including himself.
I watched and learned and became both kind and giving but also harsh when I need to be. I say my father is a lion and mom the lamb so I am a bit of both.
Leave a Reply